Today I called the neurology department at a hospital an hour and a half away and got two appointments set up for Bubblegum. The second appointment isn’t until the end of October but is the absolute first appointment we could actually get with a neurologist. The first appointment is for an EEG and is less than three weeks away. I was glad they could see him so soon, and they did say if they have any abnormal findings they will discuss them with us that day instead of making us wait another FOUR AND HALF MONTHS for his actual appointment.
Having never had an EEG, I was completely unprepared for how difficult the pre-procedure instructions were going to be. The scheduler started off telling me that I would have to wake Bubblegum up at 4am and keep him awake until the procedure. Could I do that? I told her I could as long as it was a day my husband was home. After all, trying to keep a child awake for an hour and a half car ride is difficult enough sometimes even if he didn’t get up crazy early. So she got all of Bubblegum’s and my information and then looked into dates. The first date she gave me, she said they could do 2:30 or 3:00 in the afternoon. My head immediately started spinning as I tried to re-adjust my thinking from how to keep a three year old awake on a long car ride early in the morning to how I was going to continue to keep him awake all day, including a long car ride, and still have him in any sort of mood to deal with the EEG. Especcially since doctors already make him immediately shut down and cause massive tantrums. Maybe my “uhhhh…” was a little louder and more expressive than I realized, but she quickly found another date, three days later, when they could see him at 8am.
Ok, back to managable. Then she started with the other instructions. He has to arrive sleepy, having not eaten or drank anything with sugar or caffiene after 9 pm. His hair must be clean, dry, and free of products. He cannot be sick. Only one parent can accompany him into the room where the procedure will be done and….
We cannot bring any other children with us to the hospital.
My mind went blank. This is barely better than trying to do it all myself while my husband is at work. If he has to stay home with the other kids, how in the hell am I supposed to keep Bubblegum awake for the drive?! I can’t do it; I’ll be driving. I told the scheduler thank you and hung up. How in the world were we going to do this? Not doing it isn’t an option. I called my husband at work to see if he had any ideas. He said maybe one of us should stay home and the other could get a hotel with Bubblegum near the hospital. That way there wouldn’t be a long drive he needed to stay awake for. It’s a good idea, though it still sounds stressful and… bad. And as he was saying it, it occured to me that we are idiots. We are so used to figuring out things for ourselves that we never think to ask for help, but you know what would make this whole process easier? Grandma! She lives two hours in the opposite direction, but if she took the other three kids for the night, we could both go. And there are so many reasons we both need to go. My husband is a paramedic and understands all of the medical talk a lot better than I do, so it would make sense for him to go. We’d end up with a lot more useful information than if I talked to the doctor alone. He is also better at calming Bubblegum down when he’s on the verge of a tantrum so he doesn’t go full nuclear. And I’m not comfortable driving in big cities. I can’t imagine my being stressed over driving would help the situation. But Bubblegum is more connected to me. He would feel safer if I was there. He would be less likely to fight the doctors, and less likely to have a terrible night in a hotel wondering where I was and if I was coming back and what was going to happen to him while I was gone. And frankly, this is my job. Sure my husband helps out when he’s home, but I’m the MOM. I’m the one that works with him and teaches him and notices when there is a problem and does something about it. If the doctor asks any questions, I’m the one with the answers. If the doctor learns anything important, I’m the one that needs to know.
I texted Grandma as soon as we got off the phone, and she said they would make it work. Thank goodness for Grandma!
The Parenting Perspective 